Forgiveness

"Not to forgive imprisons me in the past." ~Philip Yancey

"He who cannot forgive another breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself." ~George Herbert

I am slowly working through Philip Yancey's book What's So Amazing about Grace. So many points in this book have hit home with me, but he does a particularly excellent job addressing the issue of forgiveness as it relates to interpersonal and even international issues. The problem with forgiveness is that it is unfair. If you have been wronged shouldn't the perpetrator have to pay? That is how the cycle of ungrace, grudges, and revenge begins. Yancey points out a jamlog between grace and justice. Doesn't reason say that only justice is right? Guardini says: "As long as you are tangled in wrong and revenge, blow and counterblow, aggression and defense, you will be constantly drawn into fresh wrong...only forgiveness frees us from the injustice of others." I've seen this happen in simple fun things like pillow fights. One person starts it, the other pows back to get even, but the blow was either not hard enough or too hard to call it equal, so the fight continues. Who can ever say at what point it is actually even? The same is the case in tribal and international conflicts. Countries or races nurture grudges from centuries ago up through the current fresh injuries and the conflict is perpetuated generation to generation.

Yancey explains, "The strongest argument in favor of grace is the alternative, a world of ungrace. The strongest argument for forgiveness is the alternative, a permanent state of unforgiveness." To strengthen his point, Yancey points out examples of grace and ungrace from bombings to the Holocaust and individual and national responses. It all comes back to the quote at the beginning of this post: "Not to forgive imprisons me in the past." ~Philip Yancey

So many people are stuck in the past nurturing grievances such as abuse that can never be undone or the murder of loved ones that cannot be brought back to life. Forgiveness does not justify sin, but it frees the wronged to move forward and break the chain of ungrace and vengence. Forgiveness may not be easy and it may not be instant, but it marks the beginning of recovery from wrong. It frees the forgiver to move forward. It helps lift the burden of guilt from the forgiven. When you think an atrocity is too big to be forgiven, remember that Jesus asked his Father to forgive His crusifiers. Remember the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18: 21-35. In order for us to receive God's forgiveness, it is important that we forgive each other. "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors...For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Matthew 6:12, 14-15

We already know what a world of ungrace looks like. Yancey reminds of Ghandi's observation that the world would go blind if we follow the "eye for an eye" rule. I think the world's already largely blinded. What would it look like if we add a little grace and forgiveness? What would it look like for you to forgive those whose wrongs you nurture? Will you strive to break the cycle of ungrace in your own life and your family?